Financial Meltdown Nov 2017, An American Express dream!

Financial Meltdown Nov 2017, An American Express dream!

Tonight, Broken Radio presents to you, a teaser of upcoming Financial Meltdown, releasing this Nov 2017. The theater stars you, of course. This entire planet is possible because of you and a guy named Greed. It also stars President Trump, PM Modi, and Amercian Express. It’s written by a team of brilliant writers led by Ken Chenault.

Before we begin, I wanted to offer you a little background. Billions of years ago, there were two people. Adam and Eve. I hope no one would ask me to prove this stated fact. I hope so.

There was no money. Few more centuries later, there were many people. There was no money. There still was a fair exchange of goods and services termed as barter. But there was no money. There was also a good king.

The good kings didn’t stay good. This is referred as a natural phenomenon called ‘Decay’. They decayed morally. Shit happens!

People were robbed of their minerals, gold, and silver. Gold Seize, they call it. And were made poor. Next few centuries later, there were kings, few rich people and then you. You are essential to this story. This entire planet is possible because of you and a guy named Greed.

Now you have no gold left. But you still have mouths to feed. What would you do next?

Barter!

 You go to a rich fella and ask him some money. But you need to offer something in exchange. If you offer your home, you would have no place to live. You already quit your ways of being a nomad because the king asked you to do so. You are confused about your next steps.

But that’s because, you are a decent fella. You do not understand earthly shit.

The rich guy is awake. He has all the answers. The rich guy would then suggest, you pay him a very small sum of money each month in exchange of believing you. But if you miss that payment, then he would take your house.

“Listen to him, dude. He’s your only friend. He is giving you money, without any fuss. You would have your home, wife, kids and you can always work a little. And keep on paying him a small Riba”, says the town whore.

Riba can be roughly translated as “usury”, or unjust, exploitative gains made in trade or business under Islamic law. Riba (Interest) is mentioned and condemned in several different verses in the Quran.

So even religion dislikes it.

Now, in present times, let’s take a look. You have a leader chosen for the people by the people, The King. Your friendly Banker. Media Whores. And You.

This entire planet is possible because of you and a guy named Greed.

So having shared you an interesting background, let me begin the trailer of  Financial Meltdown Nov 2017, An American Express dream!

The American Express Company, also known as Amex, is an American multinational financial services corporation headquartered in Three World Financial Center in New York City. The company was founded in 1850 and is one of the 30 components of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. The company is best known for its credit card, charge card, and traveler’s cheque businesses. In 2016, credit cards using the American Express network accounted for 22.9% of the total dollar volume of credit card transactions in the US. As of December 31, 2016, the company had 109.9 million cards in force, including 47.5 million cards in force in the United States, each with an average annual spending of $17,216.

American Express is full of go-getters who are highly imaginative. That’s one of the reasons behind their success. American Express realized in Q1 2015 that in an event of another recession, the largest lender would be rewarded a Federal Bailout package. So they decided to be one.

Since 2015 they are flouting various financial laws and up-selling credit through their unorganized and poorly regulated offshore contact centers.

 But that’s not it. They are up-selling credit to people who are sure to falter on repayments. They are giving money to people knowing their imminent non-payment. Clearly, flouting the rules of an already rigged game.

Now would be a good time to ask me for some proof. Well, I worked for this amazing institution for 5 long years. I am well familiar with the way this institution operates. And I was a part of this theater too.

Let’s me also tell you what’s gonna happen next. Come November those non-payments would cross an imaginary level and would start shaking the global economy. The waves would continue rocking the world till the next 2 years.

Banks would fire few mid-level employees. Amex India and Manila has already started the cleanup process.

 A year from now, ATM’s would start drying and the banks would declare themselves bankrupt. American Express won’t. Because the moment they would file for bankruptcy, the entire global economy would collapse. Remember, they would have achieved the biggest lender status by then.

So someone would offer them a bailout package and Ken Chenault would sip a cup of coffee with PM Modi and President Trump in a lounge, laughing at you. You are essential.

This entire planet is possible because of you and a guy named Greed.

Now don’t panic. Yes, I told you, you are soon to face a crisis, but I got a fix. Money is limited. If you withdraw all your remaining money tonite, after paying every bill you owe, you would be partially free from this magical chair of a show called the economy. When the music would stop, you do not have to worry. Yes, you would again lose your job but you won’t have many bills to pay.

 You would survive.

Now your question:

What would I do with all my money which I make till this happens?

Keep it in your home. Do not buy stuff on installments. There is no smartness in that.

What if someone steals it?

You have a government body called ‘The Law’, to protect you.

Oh, You do not trust them. You think they are crooks.

Wow!

You think Bankers are your friend and Cops are your enemy. In that case, Who am I?

A madman leading the blind!

 

Delhi – The Rape Capital

It’s 07:45 am. It’s a beautiful Sunday morning in the capital town of India, New Delhi. New Delhi is the capital of India. India is a great country. Though it is a ‘bit’ overpopulated, where ‘bit’ is being used as an understatement inducing agent.  India is also a very just nation.

Because Delhi is world’s worst places and natives of this place are really evil, Indians decided not to outcast Delhi but reward it with the title – Capital. Being a capital city is a great responsibility. You need to make sure you are overpopulated and scarce of resources. This in turn would hike prices and people would work hard and earn less. The city would get costly and to an outsider would glitter ‘RICH’.

A Rich place is a good place. Lights should always stay on. You should never sleep. Delhi never sleeps. It works 24/7. In between naps it robs, kills, scams, whores and rapes too. Delhi likes raping. India enjoys rape. India makes rape a frequent activity. Indians believe every women has a secret desire to get raped. The world also shares a similar belief.

India rapes in Delhi, Noida, Gurgaon, Surat, U.P and before you tell me to stop stating that you know this and you choose to ignore because things like these are depressing. I would like to state the real fact. Yes every women has a desire to get raped. And that is not at all a secret. And as shocking as it would hit you, every man also has a desire to get raped. The entire human consciousness has a desire to get raped, wherein rape stands for losing control over self and let the universe run it’s own course. Rape means not to try and control anything because it’s a futile attempt. Rape doesn’t always mean a sexual crime, you depraved society! That would be it for today. Have a nice day.

Model Employee

He’s a model employee

He wakes up 7 minutes before the alarm clock

He waits for the alarm

He makes his coffee

He takes his meds

He runs on the tread

 thinking about his power point presentation

He is a model employee

He is a model employee

He drives down to work

He owns a Honda to drive

A Lexus to impress

He wears Zara, She wears Prada

They notice this, Every time they bump near the water cooler

 

He thinks of painful ideas of Cost cutting

She and her skirts sell them to the board

They get huge incentives

They fly to Bahamas together.

They attend board meetings with no clothes

Making their last memories they also ensure

deleting the video of their sexual intercourse

Office romance is frowned upon , you see

Do not fall for your boss

 He’s a model employee

 He’s a model employee

10 Tips For ‘Ooops’ Free E-Mails

On an average day, skimming through e-mails is likely to take up to 28% of your time at work. Just the sheer volume of e-mails we have to go through & respond to each day, makes it a daunting enough task, let alone trying to make it as professional & error free as possible. And no matter how hard you try, there’s a chance of an ‘oops’ moment occurring every now & then. This can cause unnecessary stress , miscommunication, awkwardness & wasted time at work hence it becomes important to observe some golden tips on how to keep your professional communication stress & error free.

Here are 10 ways to ensure a hassle free work e-mail routine –

A clear subject line.

Chances are, your recipient’s inbox is just as clogged as yours, so the clearer your subject line, the more likely are the chances of your e-mail being read. For example, if you’re sending a quotation to someone, be crisp & clear and write, “Blue Whistle Quotation Attached.”

Save A signature.

Every email should include a signature that tells the recipient who you are and how to contact you. Set it up to automatically appear at the end of each email. Include all of your contact details so the recipient doesn’t have to look up your address, email or phone number.

Use a professional salutation.

Using “Hey,” “Yo,” or “Wassup” isn’t professional, no matter how well you know the recipient. Use “Hi” or “Hello” instead. To be more formal, use “Dear ( name).” Using the person’s name in the salutation — “Hi Samuel” — is  appropriate, but remember not to shorten a person’s name unless you’re given permission to do so.

Avoid humor.

Humor does not translate well via text. Because humor is generally communicated through tone, expression & body language, what you think is funny has a good chance of being misinterpreted by the other party, or taken as sarcasm, without the said aspects. Therefore, it’s best to leave humor out of business communications.

Always proofread your message.

Having grammatical errors, spelling mistakes & incorrect usage of words littered around your e-mail can cause judgement & you may ultimately be perceived, sloppy or even unprofessional. To avoid this, always check spelling, grammar and the message before hitting “send.”

Avoid the Chain Mail fiasco

Create your message as a stand-alone note, even if it is in response to a chain of emails. This means no “one-liners.” Include the subject and any references to previous emails, research or conversations. It can be frustrating and time consuming to look back at the chain to brush up on the context. Your recipient may have hundreds of emails coming in each day and likely won’t remember the chain of events leading up to your email.

Respond to all emails.

Give a timely and polite reply to each legitimate email addressed to you. Even if you do not have an answer at the moment, take a second to write a response letting the sender know you received their email. Inform the sender if their email was sent to the wrong recipient, too.

 

Avoid ‘spur of the moment’ emotional responses

Never send an angry email, or give a quick, flip response. Give your message some thoughtful consideration before sending it. If you feel angry, avoid writing a response right away. Collect your thoughts in order to jot down points that bring the focus back to things that matter or practical points you would like to highlight in response.

Keep private material confidential.

It is far too easy to share emails, even inadvertently. If you have to share highly personal or confidential information, do so in person or over the phone. Ask permission before posting sensitive material either in the body of the email or in an attachment.

 

Avoid overuse of Capitalization & Exclamation points.

Exclamation points and other indications of excitement such as emoticons, abbreviations like LOL, and all CAPITALS do not translate well in business communications. Leave them off unless you know the recipient extremely well. It’s also not professional to use a string of exclamation points!!!!!

It may take some practice to keep your emails professional and to the point, but you will look more professional and organized in the long run.

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